Why should we give? What are the benefits of giving? Giving is an act that people with strong mindsets, and strong personalities always do.
Have you ever been criticized by someone in your life? We all have been in that situation in all of our lives. No one can stop other people from criticizing us. That is something that is out of our control.
You have to keep it in your mind- criticism, blaming, scolding and other people’s opinions in our life is something that we cannot control by ourselves. That is called the things that are out of our control. We cannot stop other people from judging us. Normally, the nature of people is always judging us. They keep on judging, they keep on criticizing and we cannot stop them.
Once our great teacher, Supreme Buddha, explained this to a Brahmin called Atula. Supreme, Buddha said:
“Porāṇametaṁ atula, netaṁ ajjatanāmiva”
Atual, it came from the ancient time
people will criticize when one is silent.
People will criticize when a person talks too much.
And when a person speaks moderately.
“Natthi loke anindito.”
There is no person, not a single person who has not been criticized by someone in this world.
These words show us we all have been criticized in this life. We all have been in that situation in our life. It is a common phenomena or common incidents that we have to face in our life.
How to face these criticisms? There are two types of criticisms in our life. One is the criticism that helps us to develop our good qualities. People who always wish the best for us, our parents, our teachers, and our elders may advise us like they may criticize our faults. When we are in such situations, always listen to those criticisms. Always listen to those pieces of advice. Do not consider it as a bad thing. Do not consider it as a negative criticism. It is a positive criticism. You can develop good qualities and you can correct your faults when you listen to those pieces of advice. This is why they are called positive criticism.
There is another criticism and that is the negative criticizing people may criticize out of jealousy, people may criticize us out of anger. They always keep on criticizing and we cannot stop it. When we face such situations, the nature of this mind is to become sad and depressed. The anxiety will start to develop inside our mind. And what we do when we face and when we hear those criticisms, we stop the good things, good practices that we are practicing in our life. You should not do that. You should not give up practicing the merits.
You should not give up doing good deeds because of others’ words. Face that, listen to that. But never stop the good of your life! The more we face criticism in our life, the more we will have the opportunity to build up good qualities within ourselves. Don’t think of criticism as a bad thing. They help you to develop good qualities in your life.
When you face negative criticism, always be patient, always be kind towards people. Because they have judged us, they have come to a conclusion about us which is wrong. What we have to do, we should not argue with them. We should not try to talk back. We should not try to prove them that they are wrong. What do we have to do? Just be silent, just be patient and always keep on practicing and never stop doing the good deeds and good practices in your life. If you keep on practicing the good things in your life, your life will be successful.
It is the nature that when we start doing something good, something wholesome or when we start doing a service to this world, something good to this world, it is the nature we all face criticism. All the people who had done a great service to this world, even our great Teacher Supreme Buddha faced criticism. Nothing to talk about us! What we have to do, we have to face those criticisms. The more we face criticism in our life, the more beautiful our lives will be.
Don’t just go through your life. Always grow through your life. When you face those hard times and the difficulties in your life, you will always grow through your life.
Now in society, we have heard some people may say: “being kind is a weakness”. “The people who become kind to others are weak.” We are going to find out how to be kind without being weak.
First of all, we need to know that kindness itself is not a weakness. Kindness is a virtue. It is a great quality that you can have in your mind. But people consider those who become kind to others, who are very compassionate, weak. But that is not the reality. How can you be kind without being weak? In a wonderful discourse of the Supreme Buddha’s teachings, it says if you can maintain your patience when you are more powerful than the other person if you can maintain your inner peace, when someone complains you or someone hurts you, even though you are more powerful than that person. That is the greatest patience that you can have in your life. Being patient, being silent doesn’t define you as weak.
You should not go to the side of negativity. It means you should not be patient out of fear. Also, you should not go to the side of aggressiveness. That means you should not be aggressive to others. Instead, you can be assertive. What does it mean in practice? Assertiveness means being kind and maintaining your inner peace without being aggressive. And still you can be confident. If you can be confident as well as kind, that is what you call assertiveness. When you are kind to other people, that does not mean that you are weak. What you have to do when you become kind, you have to be wise. Kindness mixed with wisdom is the best kindness.
What if those evil people or toxic people come to you and start hurting you again and again? You have to take yourself back. Stay away from those people. You should not fall into the same trap again and again. Instead, you can be away from them and that is what is called assertiveness. When you become kind and wise, you become assertive. That is what real kindness is.
What is important is not to let anyone control your inner peace. Don’t let anyone change your emotions and make you sad. Instead, choose to be assertive. You should maintain your inner peace and be confident and be patient and be kind to others. But never, ever be angry and hurt others.
Question: Do you know about the green-eyed monster? The green-eyed monster is nothing but the jealousy that arises within our hearts. So today we’re going to talk about how to deal with jealousy that arises within our minds.
Jealousy is one of the most hardest experiences and emotions that we have to go through in our life. It is very hard to admit. And also it is very hard to remove from our hearts. So how can we deal with this jealousy? First of all, let us see why we feel jealousy. We often feel jealousy when we hear or when we see that someone is better than us.
Someone is more capable than us. Someone is more smarter and genuine than us. Then we start to compare ourselves with that person, and we start to feel jealousy. So what is the reason for this jealousy? When we explore the emotion of jealousy, we can find the selfishness or self-centeredness is deeply rooted within this closeness.
That is why we feel jealous all the time. So selfishness means that if someone is thinking only about that person, and if he is thinking that he is the greatest person of all, so chances are very high for that person to feel jealousy on people who are better than that person. So how can we deal with this and how can we stop this zealousness?
There are a few things that you can do, right? The first thing that you should do is to admit that you are in jealous of that person. And most of the time when we feel jealous, we refuse to admit that we are jealous of that person. We hide our emotions and we make excuses for our own evil emotions. So what you have to do is be humble and admit that I am jealous of that person.
Okay. Then only you can identify the real emotion and a real state of your mind. So the first thing that you have to do is to admit that you are jealous of that person. The second thing that you have to do is to realize that we all are different from one to another. For an example, there are four elements in this world the water element. The Earth element. Air element. And the fire element. These are the four elements that prevail in this world. So if I asked you, which one is the best element out of these four? What is the answer of yours? You may say that we cannot compare these four elements because these elements are unique from one to another. They serve differently to this world.
So we cannot compare. We cannot say which one is the better, better one. The same goes for our human lives. We are different from one to another. They are no same and identical people in this world. Even the identical twins are different from emotions and feelings. So that is why we should not compare ourselves with others. Right? We all are different.And also you have to realize there is a person always in this world who is better than you, right?
You can be the best in the world sometimes. But remember, there will be always a person who has the potential to beat you instead of competing with others in the society. Let’s try to compete with ourselves, right? Let’s try to battle with ourselves and let’s try to improve ourselves and bring the better version of ourselves daily. Right?
So that is what we have to do. Your competition should not be with the people who are around you, but your competition should be with the person who is inside yourself. Right. Try to bring the better version of yourself every single day when you are competing with yourself. There is no competition with others in the society and you will never feel jealous of them. Right?
And also, this is a special practice that our great teacher Supreme taught us to do when whenever you feel jealous. What is that? It is one of the most coolest practices in Buddhism. It is called MUDITHA. It means appreciating with joyfulness or in another word, the sympathetic joyfulness. When you practice moody to you will have the ability to wish the well-being of the people around you.
Whether he or she is better than you or lower than you. You can have the ability to wish the well-being and the development and the success of the people. Right. That these are the thoughts of Muditha. So how can we practice these thoughts of Muditha? There are a few simple things that you can do, right? Try these out every single day, whenever you get up from bed in the morning.
Right. Just don’t rush into distractions quickly. Just sit on the bed, close your eyes, and wish the well-being and development, and success of all the beings in this world equally. Right. You can close your eyes and think, May all beings in this world be well and happy. May they be successful in their life. May they be developed with the successes.
When you think and when you mean these emotions from your heart, you can do all of them all the time within you. And when you are going to this society and when you see the people who are better than you, who are more capable than you, then automatically the thoughts of Muditha will come to you and it will take control of your emotions.
Right? So never let that green-eyed monster of jealousy to take control over your mind instead of that. Let’s practice the Muditha and let’s wish the well-being of the people right. So be a big fan of watching people and being happy by seeing they are growing up day in their life and by seeing they are becoming successful in their life. Because at the end of our life, we all have to leave this world and we take nothing from this world, Right?
So that is why we need to collect more good deeds and practice more good emotions within our hearts. Okay, So never be jealous at people because there is nothing good that we can gain from by mere being jealous on other people. Right. So practice Muditha to appreciate it and be happy by seeing the people growing up in their life. Then you become happy by seeing the success of others. You can be happy about yourself.
As we live in this century, we experience such a close relationship with our loved ones, and nowadays, we make so many friends with ease thanks to the invention of technology.
There is a magical quality we should all have to have a healthy relationship with our beloved ones & friends. That is love & compassion. When the world is filled in with compassion and kindness, it is always protected and secure to live.
The very first day that we were born into the world, the very first moment that Our mother gave us so dear look with a heart filled with compassion that was enough to make us feel comfortable with life. From there on, we grew up with all the care and protection from people around us. Do you remember when you met one of your friends and how secure and protected you felt? It’s excellent protection that nothing but compassion brings to this world. It warmed our hearts. Healed when we were worried. It Protected us in every situation! friendliness is a synonym for compassion. The unconditional compassion filled with friendship brings so much care to the entire world.
Because we were fortunate to experience true friendship immersed in compassion, it gave us all the care we needed from people around us. In the words of the Supreme Buddha, when someone maintains a genuine friendship with others, those people will easily receive hospitality. Wherever they visit, everyone becomes dear to him because he doesn’t have enemies in his life, and he never sees anyone who is against him. all people come to him with a pleasant mind. With much ease, he makes friends.
A Heart with a genuine friendship easily tends to conduct generosity. They can quickly abandon what they have for their friend’s happiness.
Once, the Supreme Buddha expounded that we should never forsake the friend who gives what is hard to give. Because they do that out of strong compassion toward us.
All of us like to listen to the truth. When one always speaks the truth, others will trust their words. so anyone whose mind is full of love & compassion always says the truth. Because of that, Even the Kings trust him. Wherever they go, people like to associate them. They always have a good reputation.
When our inside is filled up with joy which comes from genuine friendship will also lead to overcoming any sadness that may arise. It’s true that everything is not always dear to us. We receive both praise and blame from time to time. The person who maintains a heart of love and compassion makes great happiness by considering how much compassion they have for the world.
Learning to let go & Danger of not being Mindful
Finding a low-stress job may be difficult or impossible for many people. A more realistic choice would be handled with issues with the wise strategies taught by the Buddha to reduce stress at work.
The types of problems at work
- Physical Discomfort
- Multi Tasking
- Some people get stressed just by thinking about the work they have to do or responsibilities.
- Then women could have more stress at work.
- Fed Up With Your Difficult Co-Workers?
- Co-worker has taken credit for all of your hard work again.
- You’ve made a major mistake
- You’re overwhelmed with work
- The job you have is different from the one you applied for
- You get a bad performance review
- Giving up harmful attachment for things in life
- Performing duties not for the sake of receiving praise
- We should abandon the desire to be praised. Then a lot of problems are solved
- Knowing that helping people is a good Kamma
- For most of the problems
- Learning to let go
- Being mindful by knowing the things that distract the mind-objects
AN 9.64 Nivarana Sutta
This Sutta was taught to recognize the five things that distract our mind and find peace and happiness by dealing them with a confident mind-objects
“Monks, there are these five hindrances. Which five? Sensual desire as a hindrance, ill will as a hindrance, sloth & drowsiness as a hindrance, restlessness & anxiety as a hindrance, and doubts as a hindrance. These are the five hindrances.AN 9.64 Nivarana Sutta
Lot of people do not know that their happiness is taken away by the five hindrances, therefore people end up developing them without recognizing the real cause for suffering and will put the blame on others for the suffering that you experience.
And also, to control the lustful thoughts in the mind, practice Asubha meditation.
First of all, Hi! Hope you’re doing well. It definitely has been a good minute since I’ve got back here, in fact almost a year.. unbelievable how fast time goes..
So, you may have read this title and thought ‘Ah lies, it’s not a big deal to lie.. ‘ Whilst most of us are so used to telling lies, let me tell you the beauty of not telling lies. Before we go further, I’d like to share with you a few wise words uttered by the Buddha about ‘one who tells lies’.
“Monks, for the person who transgresses in one thing, I tell you, there is no evil deed whatsoever he would not do. What is that one thing? It is, monks, telling a deliberate lie.” (Itv 25)
In the above, note the word ‘deliberate’. Deliberate here refers to ‘intention’. If our intention in telling a lie is to deceive someone, hide something to someone, embarrass someone, there, that is the lie that should not be done. And of course, one who lies can do any evil deed and later on lie about their actions. What about white lies then you may ask? A white lie in the dictionary is defined as ‘a harmless or trivial lie, especially one told to avoid hurting someone’s feelings’. Is telling a white lie bad then, since our intention is good? If you think about it.. telling a white lie is also a lie since you’re hiding the truth from them in order to make them feel better.
Personally I would rather have someone be truthful if I asked them something, instead of them saying a white lie.. And if you’re the same, we can come to the conclusion that white lies also belong to lies after all.
And of-course it is difficult to tell the truth in situations where you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings, but wise people can use tactical ways to utter the truth. This could be by either gradually changing the topic, or being simply polite and starting off with ‘“well, I’m going to be completely honest..” I know you must be thinking what about the fun pranks then? I’m sure you can still be a pretty fun person to be around if you just work on your sense of humour
However, I admit, it is very difficult to speak the truth. But it is more difficult to do so if you don’t know the dangers of lying and if you’re surrounded by people who also lie. Trust me, once you believe in the dangers of lying and stand on your ground of virtue, it doesn’t matter what others say or do, you will eventually build that strength to say ‘sorry I don’t lie, so I can’t say/do this’. And from my experience, I have to tell you, that itself brings a great sense of pride in yourself. Personally I’m grateful in my path of spiritual practice, I found noble teachers, and the right friends or in Buddhism we say, ‘noble friends’ who share and understand the same values and interests.
So the dangers of lying as I learnt from the teachings of the Buddha are sometimes explained through similes. Firstly the Buddha explains, the worst consequences of lying are, it causes rebirth in the animal and ghost worlds. The least consequences on the other hand are, he who is reborn in the human world will be humiliated and insulted and accused for no reason. The beautiful simile said by the Buddha to explain one who lies is — a person who lies is like a vessel turned upside down. Just like that vessel cannot hold any water, a person who lies cannot hold any good qualities in them. They will continue to lie to cover their other lies and therefore there is no evil deed that person would not do.
In conclusion, I say that the beauty of speaking the truth is the rare quality of truthfulness in that person itself. There is beauty in their virtuous character, in their truthful speech, in their courage to stand on their ground of virtue and is eventually an attractive person to associate with, as he is trust worthy.
Therefore, I hope this article was of some value to you and helps you develop the quality of truthfulness. I shall see you next time, until then take care and stay safe